It Starts With One Step

This is going to be a quick one. A client of mine recently said to me “You know, I’m really enjoying giving myself challenges. It’s fun. It’s like life is an interesting video game and I’m always looking forward to leveling up”. The reason this is significant is because this guy came out of the depths of survival mode. He …

Digging Deep: Fighting Through Self-Doubt

If you read these posts regularly, you may notice a theme developing. Lately the message has been: “Bro, don’t quit. You can do this. If you fall down, get up. If you feel afraid, push through. Keep going. GRIND. Trust the process.” These inspirational posts are informed by back-to-back sessions — 6 days a week, 8-12 hours a day — …

Fear vs. Faith: Confronting Darkness

FEAR. Let’s start here. There is a common misconception among men that the truly brave operate fearlessly, while those who experience fear are fundamentally cowards. I’m here to tell you that this is simply untrue. In my experience, the guys who run blindly into critically dangerous situations either don’t appreciate the scope of the threat at hand, or — while …

Falling Down and Getting Back Up

This is a message of motivation for men. We all struggle. We grind, and grind, and grind. We feel like we’re constantly working, doing our best to perform in a way that gets optimal results, but sometimes it’s just one setback after another. For all of our efforts, luck doesn’t favor us and we end up in a classic SNAFU …

Music Is My Vehicle

Some of you might know that I’m a singer and guitarist in a rock n’ roll band. Last weekend, we had our second sold out show at a beautiful local furniture shop/coffeehouse. First thing to note was that the show was sold out in advance. It’s not the norm for that venue, even with a humble capacity of somewhere between …

Linear Versus Lateral Thinking

“The MAN wants to go HOME, but he CAN’T because the MAN with the MASK is there.“ I counsel men — mostly professionals — 8-12 hours a day, 6 days a week. These are guys between 20-something and 60-something. Myself an autistic trauma survivor with a backstory that reads like an Oprah Book Club pick, I coach from my truth …

Mastery 101: Mindset Before Technique

If you’ve read some of my previous posts, you know that in January of this year (2022) I began training BJJ. While I have some striking experience (both TKD and boxing), the only grappling I ever did was some incidental wrestling with scrappy friends…. but nothing serious. In a recent blog post titled Stubborn as a G.O.A.T. — https://www.manuplifecoaching.com/stubborn-as-a-g-o-a-t/ — …

Teaching Is Undoing

Our Muay Thai coach is on vacation. I’ve been given the honor not only to take his place and run group training during his absence, but to work with some of his private 1-on-1 students as well for a couple of weeks.  In working with both the group and the individual students, I find myself unable to separate the life …

I’ve Been Reading a Lot Lately.

I’ve been reading quite a lot lately. I’ve also done a LOT of re-reading for various reasons. It was only when I put all the books I’ve read in the past two and a half months together in a photograph that I realized that I’ve been reading at a pace which is unprecedented in my life. Of course, I’m going …

The Male “HAPPINESS” Dilemma

I work with guys who struggle with happiness. They aren’t fundamentally “happy”. For them a good day is when nothing bad happens. They deal with anxiety, and feel ashamed that it can be so debilitating. Some days it literally saps their physical strength. I’m talking about strong, able-bodied guys who just want to stay in bed or lie on the …

The Body Is the Mind

I remember being in Wushu (or Kungfu) class quite a few years ago learning some of the basic stances.  “Extend your arms all the way out” said the teacher.  “But..I am” I thought to myself.  A quick look into the mirror across the hall told me otherwise. There was still a little more straightening of the elbows that could happen, …

Stubborn as a G.O.A.T.

As a guy, you’ve probably been told more than once in your life that you’re stubborn. What does that mean, exactly? Often it means that someone is trying to communicate something to you, but you aren’t listening in a way that convinces them that you’re actually getting it. This happened to me today in my Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu (BJJ) class. I’m …