As a Man, you are either reading from a Failure Script, or a Success Script. Let's start with Failure:
1) Judgment -- You tend to be self-critical, and therefore equally critical of others. It causes significant stress.
2) Rage -- Perpetual judgment feels like a constant attack (because it is) and eventually you either lose your temper or choke it down. There are obvious consequences for temperamental outbursts. But the effects repressing your hostility can be sneakier.
3) Depression/Lethargy -- When you compartmentalize your hostility, you basically turn the attack inward, and your system starts to shut down. You lack energy. Motivation. Drive.
4) Insecurity -- You aren't using your voice. You aren't expressing yourself. You're operating from fear. You fear judgment. You fear failure.
5) Risk Avoidance -- You lack the confidence to take risks. Sometimes these risks are creative risks. Other times these risks are financial, or emotional.
6) Stagnation -- YOU ARE STUCK. This is the primary reason you are seeking a coach. You’ve hit a plateau. Your groove has become a rut. You need to make a CHANGE, but again... you're risk averse. And we're back.
7) Lack -- This is not an abundance mindset, nor are you living up to your full potential. Something is lacking. Everything is lacking. This isn't winning. It's losing. This is FAILURE.
It resonates, doesn't it?
And as a guy, you don't want to discuss your feelings; you want to FIX THE SITUATION.
It's like a mechanical problem that's out of your league. You admit you can't do it, and find someone qualified to help.
That's us. We teach you to read off of a Success script. Here's what it looks like:
1) Validation. -- This is the number one problem. You seek validation from external sources. Dating sites. Porn. Social media. Video games. Sports bets. Anything that gives you a dopamine hit. Comfort food. Alcohol. Weed. The list goes on.
We change this by teaching you to validate yourself. Yes, it's difficult. It's cringey even. But it's what needs to happen. This is your man-up moment. And, awkward and uncomfortable as it may feel, as of today you're awesome and you know it.
2) Happiness -- Just as judgment comes from fear, validation comes from love. It’s so much easier for us as guys to criticize ourselves than to validate ourselves. We feel cringey admitting that we want things like “happiness” and “love”, but are perfectly comfortable calling ourselves “idiots”, “morons”, and so on. So as a precursor to success, your man-up moment in this program is learning to accept yourself as worthy of happiness and self-love.
3) Motivation -- Validation leads to motivation, PERIOD. That's the secret. Good teachers know this. So do good parents. Maybe you had great parents, maybe not so great. Either way, now it's time to Father your inner child. "Go get 'em, Tiger! You've got this!"
4) Confidence -- Instead of relying on others to fluff your wounded ego, you're becoming self-sufficient. You feel the power surge and others are starting to see it. You're coming out of the fog, feeling sharp, and ready to rock.
5) Risk Taking -- Everyone has opportunities for growth. If you want to grow, simply lean into your biggest fears, or greatest discomforts. It can be something obvious, like skydiving, or less obvious, like public speaking. Before, you wouldn't dare. Too scary. But now you're thinking, what the hell... Let's spin the wheel.
6) Change -- Now here's where we start to have liftoff. When you take risks, things change. And sure, you'll have a lot more failures than you do successes with any endeavor. The key is persistence. Keep grinding, keep cool, and get stronger through the process.
7) Opportunity -- It's a fact. Change creates opportunity. Rather than sitting around upset that you aren't getting any breaks, you're now on the receiving end of miracles. You find yourself having really good fortune, and feel genuinely grateful. In fact, you have a strong impulse to pay it forward, which often leads clients to inquire about becoming mentors.
So we're saying: Your issues are fixable. It just takes having the right script, and having the right coach. If therapy isn't for you, and you'd like to see how "The Bro-Coach Approach" works (and we're telling you now, it does) -- then set up a call. Change has to start somewhere. Why not right now?