“I have to admit, I just can’t get anything right. I can’t make a single good decision. I don’t trust my own judgement at all anymore. Just tell me what to do and I’ll do it”.
As a life coach for men, I feel a little conflicted when I hear guys say something like that. And we hear this VERY often.
On the one hand, I feel strongly for the guy. He’s broken. He’s lost faith in himself and as a man, ideally a problem solver, he feels like a complete failure. Not a great place to be.
But I also know that it’s very good news. I have to admit to feeling a sense of relief when I hear something like that. I know that this is the last time he’s going to be here. His self concept is shattered and he’s reached a point where the only thing left to do is to build up from the foundation.
He’s put his pride aside and has reached out for help. He’s willing to do whatever it takes. I know it’s the last time because I’ve been there and I sought help.
As you would imagine, I’ve also seen and worked with many people who’ve gone through the same, rising up from the bottom of the pit never to return to it again. It takes a LOT for most men to seek help. Congratulations, you’re here.
In this environment, the coaching session, there is zero judgement. Guys can really open up to a brother. There’s also going to be a solid gameplan. We’re men. We can only talk about our problems for so long. We need a gameplan. We need results.
While the plan may look simple, linear and straightforward on paper, there’s strong intuitive and emotional intelligence involved in the journey. There’s leaving your comfort zone, there’s positive risk and breaking of patterns. Trust your coach. There’s a LOT going on in the background that’s not necessarily useful for the client’s analytical thinking, which is already crashing.
Here’s how simple it is: “Just do your job”. Once we’ve put everything down on paper (or on screen) together, your job is just to check those items off.
Consistency is the only ingredient we’ll need and we’re well on our way to the other side. To the light. To the top.
How do we know it works? Results. Results. Results. We see it all the time.
Congratulations. This is the last time you’re going to be at the bottom of the pit.